Blog roll

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Glass Butterfly

5:56 minutes

Electric Love

Candy, she’s sweet like candy in my veins
Baby, I’m dying for another taste

And every night my mind is running around her
Thunder’s getting louder and louder

Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle
I can’t let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck
By your electric love (Ohh)
Baby, your electric love (Ahh)
Electric love

Drown me (Drown me), you make my heart beat like the rain
Surround me, hold me deep beneath your waves
(Oh)

And every night my mind is running around her
Thunder’s getting louder and louder and louder

Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle
I can’t let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck
By your electric love (Ohh)
Baby, your electric love (Ahh)
Electric love

(Ohh)
Rushing through me
Feel your energy rushing through me
Feel your energy rushing through me

Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle
I can’t let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck by your electric love (Ohh)
Baby, your electric love (Ahh)
Baby, you’re electric

Trauma Reading

Childhood trauma alters your life and soul forever.

Did you suffer loss, abuse, or neglect early-on in life?

It changes who you are.

You’ll suffer serious emotional disorders for decades to come.

It destroys your ability to foster caring and nurturing relationships.

Childhood trauma bricks up our potential in unimaginable ways.

Damaged tender hearts make it easy to put up walls.

Then it’s harder to find healing.

Healing childhood harms is difficult to repair.

But so necessary to create the life we want.

To get over the past, we start by facing it.

With bravery.

One step at a time.

Childhood trauma generates momentous emotions.

Learning to process these emotions stops repetitive damaging patterns.

They no longer keep us stuck and hurting.

Facing childhood trauma stops internal festering.

Our body then flushes the unconscious negative energy.

That poison wrecks everything — from our employment prospects to our romantic relationships.

We can change.

We extract the poison with recognition.

We forgive.

A miracle.

Empowered, drowned Ophelia rises from the suffocating waters of a lost childhood.

Astride her solid black horse, she races to freedom. Aware – and alive.

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BENEXUS: Episode 8 – Mind of Arrow

5:55 minutes

BENEXUS: The Mind Touch

I searched for authentic rare intimacy. But feared finding it.

I endured rejection for being odd and different. Experiencing the pain of abandonment.

Fear of heartbreak held me back.

Deep down I always wanted someone to push past my walls and get closer.

Analyzing observed information I made future mental predictions.

Would I ever discover alignment on a deep soul level? And feel secure connecting?

I felt connections even at far distances. Strong energy made me aware of the things I loved about myself on a profound level.

My newfound faith made me insecure. I now believed in things logic told me not to. Painful and vulnerable and dangerous things. It’s who I was now.

My intensity came from a never-ending desire to find in everything hidden depth.

I hunted the bigger why; seeking meaning. What I do makes a difference. I could read others. I “saw behind the mask” they wore.

I sensed I’d never be the same – a significant destined shift in my inner landscape.

It intrigued me that I was forgetting the world around me.

I was becoming a living contradiction. I wanted something but was pushing it away and avoiding it.

Before I feared being vulnerable. Fear of having people reject me and who I am.

It only made me crave intimacy more — and the tension and unhappiness in my past.

I now trusted people in difficult and painful ways. Connecting to them keeps me in touch with infused life energies – and the lessons they teach.

The imprints they left on my soul weren’t erasable. I couldn’t forget them. Sharing each other’s deepest pains, listening without judgment, and with empathy.

Age, nationality, culture, race, profession, and status are irrelevant. Soul connections have no limit.

I often need time alone. Time to process everything inside my mind. My alone time draws others closer during our time apart. Reuniting is more special.

I didn’t want to be distant from people again. The intimate energy exchanged always delivers lessons I most needed to learn.

When alone inside my mind, I think about the people I love and care for.

I don’t need to be around someone all the time. A strong connection from a distance. Closeness and intimate even when apart.

We’ve bonded beyond the surface. They pierced through the facade of my constructed identity.

The stress of opening up and having my heart broken fades. A state of wholeness and wisdom prevails.

I open up. Exposing the personality layers I keep hidden inside.

Being my true self, even when it feels scary, liberates me.

Vulnerability without fear. Safely sharing who I am and what I think.

I had thoughts and emotions I hadn’t been aware of deep within. It was hard finding balance.

I open up when I am trusted and feel safe. I’m safe when someone doesn’t criticize me for being different.

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Demons

5:02 minutes

“Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”

Baby, you come knocking on my front door
Same old line you used to use before
I said yeah, well, what am I supposed to do
I didn’t know what I was getting into

So you’ve had a little trouble in town
Now you’re keeping some demons down
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

It’s hard to think about what you’ve wanted
It’s hard to think about what you’ve lost
This doesn’t have to be the big get even
This doesn’t have to be anything at all

(I know you really want to tell me good-bye)
(I know you really want to be your own girl)

Baby, you could never look me in the eye
Yeah, you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

There’s people running ’round loose in the world
Ain’t got nothin’ better to do
Make a meal of some bright-eyed kid
You need someone looking after you

(I know you really want to tell me goodbye)
(I know you really want to be your own girl)

Baby, you could never look me in the eye
Yeah, you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around

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Sing

6:15 minutes

Thanks to Cora for inspiration.

Speechless

[Verse 1]
Here comes a wave meant to wash me away
A tide that is taking me under
Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say
My voice drowned out in the thunder

[Pre-Chorus]
But I won’t cry
And I won’t start to crumble
Whenever they try
To shut me or cut me down

[Chorus]
I won’t be silenced
You can’t keep me quiet
Won’t tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t go speechless
‘Cause I’ll breathe
When they try to suffocate me
Don’t you underestimate me
‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless

[Verse 2]
Written in stone
Every rule, every word
Centuries old and unbending
“Stay in your place”
“Better seen and not heard”
But now that story is ending

[Pre-Chorus]
‘Cause I
I cannot start to crumble
So come on and try
Try to shut me and cut me down

[Chorus]
I won’t be silenced
You can’t keep me quiet
Won’t tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t go speechless, speechless
Let the storm in
I cannot be broken
No, I won’t live unspoken
‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless

[Bridge]
Try to lock me in this cage
I won’t just lay me down and die
I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky
Hear the echo saying:

[Chorus]
I won’t be silenced
Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t go speechless, speechless
‘Cause I’ll breathe
When they try to suffocate me
Don’t you underestimate me
‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless

[Outro]
All I know is I won’t go speechless, speechless

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Moves

3:45 minutes

“Something”

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

I don’t want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don’t need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Don’t want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

You’re asking me will my love grow
I don’t know, I don’t know
You stick around, now it may show
I don’t know, I don’t know

Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me

I don’t want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

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Corazon

5:05 minutes

The Yellow Cobra is regarded as one of the most dangerous species of cobra in all of Africa, by virtue of its potent venom and frequent occurrence around houses.

Yellow

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called, “Yellow”
So then I took my turn
Oh, what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know
You know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh, what a thing to do
‘Cause you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh, what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I’d bleed myself dry
For you I’d bleed myself dry

It’s true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

Love bound

I love you.
Only 8 letters,
Yet the hardest to say.
Even if you really feel that way
I love you.
The sweetest sound,
But you can’t say it
you’re bound.
I love you.
Do they feel the same way?
And if they don’t, will things change?
I love you.
Do they love me?
you wish you could tell.
I guess if its meant to be,
It’ll be.

Kdenlive video editor
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Not Yet

4:33 minutes

The seed for this video was a 100 beat-per-minute rock drum track. It is heard at the opening and closing of the video.

The song is an alternative cover of U2’s song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” This version has male and female parts plus an extra verse in italics below:

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in the fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for

He will lift you
higher and higher
He will lift you up when you fall
He will be your shelter from the storm

I believe in the Kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes, I’m still running

You broke the bonds
and you loosened chains
carried the cross of my shame, of my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for

That extra verse changes the songs meaning – it there was any doubt. The song is 150bpm. I’ve found 1.3 and 1.5 multiples of the original beat will work on a song. So I used that trick here.

There is didgeridoo music from Australia in the back ground altered to 100bpm.

An altered guitar solo is Pink Floyd isolated and altered from 123bpm to 100bpm. It’s from the song “Comfortably Numb.”

Video clips

Video clips were all open source. I used an excerpt for a tour of the Portugal Lisbon temple. A tribute to my son who will soon serve there as a missionary. And the closing still is the Celestial room of the Philadelphia temple. A tribute to Saige serving in Washington DC and soon to go to Germany.

For me, this song is about “I still haven’t found” the secret from my past childhood trauma. The parental abandonment I experienced after mom’s suicide attempt.

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BENEXUS Episode 7 – Anchor

6:34 minutes

Lost in time, gulls struggled to circle overhead in a gusty dark storm. Anchor wandered across an immense flat rock atop a black stone cliff. A precarious spot for the fragility of youth. Whipping wind froze her scant garments tight around her shivering skinny body. Mother Earth was rumbling. She prepared to crush Anchor’s youthful tenderness to untraceable bits. Roaring tons of water hit the cliff-side. The drenching impact soared into chilling air. Its arching destination of fury was obvious … supernatural Anchor.

Anchor looked into the watery death. And exclaimed her miraculous sentence, “You die first, Mother of Creation!” and the waters lost all primal force. Ashamed, water splattered like soft rain on the black slate rock, tears at Anchor’s feet. From that day forward, Anchor was a healer, a prodigy, a tribal shaman. Feared as a witch; a forlorn term that made her laughter timid. Clinking her ever-present powerful vials and potions stored in her pockets reassured her. Power was always loaded at her magic fingertips.

Mother Nature never chose Anchor. She was strange. Anchor survived Nature’s foolish attempt to obliterate her. Nature then became Anchor’s slave – or so people believed. The people erected a religious obelisk at the site of the ocean miracle. But within a year, the foundation eroded to a powdery crumble. Sabotaged by the salty sea. The entire monument toppled into the deepest depths.

Anchor dressed unadorned and lived alone in a cliff-side cave, a rock nest. She was an anchoress; a woman retired to a solitary life of religious seclusion. It was primitive and unsettling for people.

Most guess the tossing sea Anchor’s only rightful parent. They are wrong. That mock battle was a mere rivalry between the Ocean and Anchor. Her true mission had been long secluded. The enigma of Anchor was beyond even her exotic strangeness. Inklings, premonitions, dreams touched her. But Anchor’s destiny began when she was 17-years-old. Her fortune concealed. Now the season came. She wasn’t ready, but Shiloh awaited. A transformation required not only of the Golden City but of the very hearts of her people.

At the crossroads, a walled-up stone city harnesses a boiling, raging, hot storm. Outside, all appears quiet and content. Inside, dwells a harsh ordeal of gasping sorrow. This suffocating, dark city belongs to the corrupt. It is Shiloh; a barren and destructive place. Shiloh’s repression yields only unproductive confusion; spinning in circles and circles again.

Filth and dirt of the sordid quarantined in Shiloh. Here they caged all discarded dreams. But Shiloh’s wall of remorse soon cracks at its seams. Too much crude corruption to wallow in forever. Outside freedom awaits. A military society, the SCARAB military rescuers, will transform Shiloh. Breaking down its exterior brick walls. Shiloh’s walls are a prison. No longer a deceptive haven.

Like the ancient Egyptian scarab beetle, the SCARAB rebel militia destroys to create. Shatter the walls and grind it into the sand. There is no more enemy. Set yourself free.

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delicate

2:39 minutes

Your strength is in your delicacy.
You are delicate like a flower.
I hold you up through every storm because you are delicate.
I love your beauty, your softness, your texture and scent.
I love your intimate heart, your fragile thoughts, your tenderness.
I love your slender petals, your spring-fresh stem.
I value and treasure your wisps–your lines–your flair and style–your spunk.
You continue to be delicately amazing in your boldness and strength.
Your subtle tones; I do not overlook the subtlety of your tonation and hue,
Your ability to feel a whisper of change in me.
Your sensitivity thrills me!
Intricate intricacy!
Detail to my eye
Wondrous, intricate detail!
My inherent desire, you draw me, you pull me
A woven piece of work, woven into me
Exuding such softness…

–Michelle Cook

Components

  • 8 still photos
  • 8 video clips – flowers
  • Sound track Tristan Barton – Eris’s Debt
  • 3 clips unknown model
  • voiceover Chloe Wigham
  • 4 titles
  • Poetry: Michelle Cook
  • Dizzy logo
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Mob Madness

8:02 minutes

Rashyla Levitt, arrested and held for mere hours for charges of failure to disperse.

Leaders of Black Lives Matter said Rashyla Levitt is not officially part of their group.

Attention was focused on the march organized and orchestrated by community leader and anti-racist organizer Rashyla Levitt.

An exposé by The Seattle Times on June 12 found that Fox News had digitally altered photographs of the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone to include a man armed with an assault rifle. The Fox News website also used a photograph of a burning scene from the Minnesota protests to illustrate their articles on Seattle’s protests.

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