The Library

2:47 minutes

you wear the smell of death and rage like perfume,
he smells like an abandoned library,
a grand piano in the corner,
stunning,
you long to run your fingers over the keys,
but would the blood on your hands taint its beauty?
there is sort of a soft cider in his eyes,
the kind you sip by a fire,
listen to it crackle,
it brings soft memories,
yours rumble a warning.
the sky is darkening,
there’s a storm brewing somewhere
off the corners of the map of the world,
if he is a star, then you never knew they had flavor,
they taste like ambition,
and ancient wisdom,
but what does that make you?
some sort of abyss?
and what if he finds your darkness beautiful?
what then?

 

Bring blue skies back
show me around
perfect imperfection
shed your skin
yielding
show me
help me now.

I lay my burden down
time moves alarmed
nothing sets me free
like your creativity
You’re home to me.

Exciting journey
Timely untamed
Miracle reflection
Hold me tight
knife my pillow
in the night.

Alone together
stunning electric
energy angel
be happy too
diamond shining.

Do you think of me?
I won’t lie to you
sweet breathing
walk through my door
touch my mind
feel the hush?

Stillness
focus on me
soul heartbeat
rescue me
love your company.

Fingers

3:47 minutes

FINGERS

is there solace in idle conviction?

what brought us here to begin with?

among the ruins of a crippled empire,

our fingers scramble at crumbs of redemption,

hand bruised and bleeding,

the blood under my nails will stain, and collect,

we aren’t heroes any longer,

were we ever?

tragedy’s of firelight and flesh,

hands like these, they shake, fingers twitch

they remember what they’ve done,

knuckles of spite,

nails splintered,

unholy sacraments of broken bodies,

watch our fathers shake fickle fists at calloused deities,

watch our mothers fold flags with their trembling fingers,

what use do we have for feeble hymns of wasted faith?

our names written in sordid songs of feeble glory,

but look at us,

look at us.

our hands ready the cannons,

they clutch our dying brothers,

our fingers pull the triggers,

they bury our friends,

these hands, these hands,

they remember.

by JADE RAWLINGS

Touch

4:48 minutes

In Spanish, you don’t play a guitar. You touch it (tocar).

Now if you feel that you can’t go on
Because all of your hope is gone
And your life is filled with much confusion
Until happiness is just an illusion
And your world around is crumbling down, darlin’

Come on girl reach on out for me
Reach out for me
I’ll be there with a love that will shelter you
I’ll be there with a love that will see you through

When you feel lost and about to give up
‘Cause your best just ain’t good enough
And you feel the world has grown cold
And you’re drifting out all on your own
And you need a hand to hold, darlin’

Come on girl, reach out for me
Reach out for me
I’ll be there to love and comfort you
And I’ll be there to cherish and care for you

I can tell the way you hang your head
You’re not in love now, now you’re afraid
And through your tears you look around
But there’s no peace of mind to be found
I know what you’re thinking
You’re a loner, no love of your own, but darling

Come on girl reach out for me
Reach out, just look over your shoulder
I’ll be there to give you all the love you need
And I’ll be there you can always depend on me
I’ll be there

Baby Teeth

3:57 minutes

i cant find my baby teeth,

they might be in the walls,

next to all my skeletons,

my collections getting tall,

is that bleach or is that blood?

open up my memory it starts to flood,

doesn’t matter what you find,

i wake up with a cleaner mind,

someday somehow well be fine,

you only love me half the time,

am i supposed to be alright?

i toss and turn throughout the night

take my fluoxitine

make sure my mind is clean,

i cant find my baby teeth,

i cant find my baby teeth

Heart

4:07 minutes

YOUR NOT ALONE

So listen to me now
I’m not gonna stand here when my friend’s down and out
I’m not gonna run when it’s hard to figure it all out
If there’s anything I’d say, I will tell you right now

You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone

Listen to me now
Listen to me now!
O-o-o-o-oh, o-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh, o-o-o-o-oh!

You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone
You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone

Love Someone

4:40 minutes

When You Love Someone

Bryan Adams

When you love someone – You’ll do anything
You’ll do all the crazy things – That you can’t explain
You’ll shoot the moon – Put out the sun
When you love someone

You’ll deny the truth – Believe a lie
There’ll be times that you’ll believe – You could really fly
But your lonely nights – Have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone – You’ll feel it deep inside
And nothin else – Could ever change your mind
When you want someone – When you need someone
When you love someone

When you love someone – You’ll sacrifice
You’d give it everything you got and you won’t think twice
You’d risk it all – No matter what may come
When you love someone
You’ll shoot the moon – Put out the sun
When you love someone

Ophelia Sings

5:39 minutes

Reflection

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day
It’s as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

BENEXUS: Episode 9 – Desert Slave Ship

8:43 minutes

BENEXUS episode 9: Desert Slave Ship

Aboard the pirated slave ship, Iyo daily meditated on the words of the Phoenix.

With the pinkie ring taken from Princess Anchor’s bag, Iyo conjured small magic.

Hidden, he blew tiny puffs of steam as she showed him. He slid small sand grains over the ship’s rough deck. He progressed in little increments.

Who’s that?” Iyo shouted to the crow’s nest lookout.

A lone rider appeared behind them on the dusty horizon.

Man on an Adno lizard,” the lookout shouted down.

A man on an Adno lizard?” Iyo repeated mumbling.

Get telescopic glasses at the stern. Find out who this rider is. He may be a scout from our militia.”

More likely a hostile,” Zingara said.

A pretty big chance,” Driver added.

Good point,” Iyo said. “Ready your weapons.”

They waited listening to the whoosh of sand. Quiet and patient.

The sternward scout reported. The man wore desert head coverings. No identification.

Iyo startled

He recognized the lizard saddle.

Arrow rode that saddle crossing the desert,” Iyo said to Yew and Zingara.

Whoever it is, he’s from the town the militia abandoned.”

He’s fast,” Driver said.

No lizard ran so fast for me,” Iyo said, “Here he comes.”

The Adno lizard scrambled up the ship’s smooth side.

The mystery rider accustomed to a lifetime of riding lizards held fast.

The large lizard reared up.

All weapons trained on him.

The mysterious rider removed his head covering.

From under the covering, Somer Krest’s stern gazed peered out at the group.

Commander Iyo,” Krest shouted down, “May I have a word?”

Iyo swallowed and mumbled, “Yes sir.”

The lizard roamed on deck as they marched to the stern to talk. Somer folded his arms.

Did you know Zingara was in your company?” Somer blurted.

Well, sir.. I -”

Iyo, Zingara is THE confirmed princess of Shiloh. The success of the war relies on her survival.”

Yes sir,” Iyo looked at the deck.

I’m here to bring her back safe. It’s unacceptable endangering our future queen at the front lines.” Somer looked around the ship. He paused.

You commandeered a slave ship?”

Yes, sir.”

What’s in your head? What are you planning?”

Well, I thought it faster. We’d catch the ship or convoy with the other princess, sir,” Iyo explained.

Did any slave traders radio Lamia?” Somer asked.

No sir, they all perished first.”

Somer raised an eyebrow.

My crew made sure they died,” Iyo finished.

Commander, you have a rare opportunity to breech the second wall of Shiloh.”

I suppose we do. How do we take advantage of this good fortune, general?” He asked.

The army is half a day behind us. We’ll infiltrate the castle – and have the second gate open when they arrive. I’ll radio Captain Whesk. She’ll know what to do,” Somer decided.

General, the people on this ship – they don’t have much reason to fight for Shiloh,” Iyo started.

Of course, they do,” Somer scoffed. “Eliminating the queen will do wonders for them and their country. There should be no quarrel helping us inside the city. Gather them together on the deck.”

Yes sir,” Iyo said. He relayed the message to Yew Rue. Soon after, Somer Krest stood in front of the crew. His tattered blue shoulder cape revealed Somer’s position and rank. But he introduced himself anyway.

I am General Somer Krest of the Scarab Militia. I understand you’ve become the ship’s crew and are helping my men. With your help, we can overthrow wicked queen Lamia. As a slave ship, we’ll open the second gate for the Scarab Army. I ask you remain with us – and open the wall. Then you will recover your former homes.”

Awkward silence hung in the air.

Is this how you feel? Apathy?” He scoffed disgusted, “Freedom. Liberation. Going home to your families. To your children and parents. This is what I offer you. Freedom from the blight of tyranny. You must act. A phoenix is not a weak rebirth, it must rise again. And through the trial of fire, it is reborn! Restore yourselves, restore our country, and the balance between us!

He scanned from eye to eye.

Are you with me?”

The crew cheered.

Then set course for Shiloh.”

Inspiring. sir,” Yew said. Somer laughed a moan.

I’m tired. We’re lucky they accepted. Good to see you all alive.”

He looked at Zingara.

She rubbed the back of her neck. “Are you disappointed I stowed away?”

No, I’m mad.”

General Krest sir, may I have a moment,” Iyo said.

Somer breathed out through his nose.

Alright commander, you may impose on another moment of my precious time.”

Yes sir.”

Behind his back, Somer clasped a hand around his wrist. They paced along down the ship’s railing, leaving Zingara, Yew Rue, and Driver behind.

What is it?” Krest demanded.

Bennu sir,” Iyo said. “The Phoenix came to me in a vision. He said I’m sensitive to magic and I’m the chosen one.”

Grandiose. … And?”

And he wants to restore the crown by placing a royal princess on the throne. He’ll visit me soon. I need to practice my magic – or I won’t be ready,” He explained.

What is it he will teach you?” Somer asked.

Something to help defeat Lamia, I imagine.”

And have you practiced magic?”

I have no idea what magic is – or how to do it. I’ve relied on Princess Anchor’s ring. I’ve only know the same three magics,” Iyo said holding up his pinkie to show the skinny ring.

So you want me to show you how to do magic?”

Yes. I’ve no idea what I’m doing,” He answered.

Somer was silent. He paused looking over the distant sand.

Alright,” He said. “But we’re not keeping it a secret. Talk to your crew. Let them know what’s going on.”

Yes sir.”

Go on,” He said and Iyo hurried back to his friends.

Somer leaned on the railing and interlocked his rough dry fingers. He stared at the rushing shifting sands – then back toward Iyo. The boy possessed an awkward vocabulary. Always stumbling over words to explain things.

Zingara turned to look at Somer. He discerned what she was thinking. She knew hadn’t performed magic since the king died and Lamia took over.

Now he promised to teach a risky novice magic preparations for Bennu’s instruction.

Somer pondered the burden ahead – and he felt so tired.

The Promise

4:41 minutes


Music Lyrics

I will find you

Hope is your survival
A captive path I lead

No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a long long time
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years

Nachgochema
Anetaha
Anachemowagan

No matter where you go
I will find you
In the place with no frontiers
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years

Hale wú yu ga I sv
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga ga I sv
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga ga I sv
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga ga I sv
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga
Hale wú yu ga

No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a long long time
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years

No matter where you go
I will find you
In the place with no frontiers
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years

No matter where you go
I will find you

Owner of a Lonely Heart

Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser
See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you – and that’s the only way
Shake – shake yourself
You’re every move you make
So the story goes
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Say – you don’t want to chance it
You’ve been hurt so before
Watch it now
The eagle in the sky
How he dancin’ one and only
You – lose yourself
No not for pity’s sake
There’s no real reason to be lonely
Be yourself
Give your free will a chance
You’ve got to want to succeed
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than – a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
After my own indecision
They confused me so
Owner of a lonely heart
My love said never question your will at all
In the end you’ve got to go
Look before you leap
Owner of a lonely heart
And don’t you hesitate at all – no no
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than – a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart
(repeat)
Owner of a lonely heart
Sooner or later each conclusion
Will decide the lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
It will excite it will delight
It will give a better start
Owner of a lonely heart
Don’t deceive your free will at all
Don’t deceive your free will at all
Owner of a lonely heart
Don’t deceive your free will at all
Just receive it