I feel as if the life I live is inadequate and undefined
The repeat of a ice cold scream that repeats throughout my mind
A pain I fear and cower from, but all the same I seek.
A pain deep inside me, a sorrow so bleak.
The pang of death within a mind, at times so bitter sweet.
But the death of those you love is something that stops your heartbeat.
When rage runs high and sorrows deep
When you realize the abyss of your mind runs steep.
When hands go cold, and emotions numb, and the body you inhabit shakes.
When a feeling Of relief, no matter the size is worth high stakes.
Bruised bone from a fist that hit a wall
Missing skin from that hand and it’s downfall.
And the purple and blue bone once again ignored despite its missing flesh.
Returns to writing papers, and fidgeting when bored or stressed.
I stop and wince at the memory
Of a young girl forcing scissors, into her extremities.
You hold yourself and scream “why would I do this to me?!”
And yet again when night falls, blood you will see.
You see the faces of those you knew, who left this red hued earth.
It leaves the soul shattered, wrecked on new turf.
I hide the memories of those I hate, but once loved
Hidden in the same place, where trauma forgotten was once beloved.
Despite others having my mind prearranged
I somehow manage to remain, forever unchanged.
