Unlovable Demons

4:15 minutes

Inner Demons

They say don’t let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
When I’m all alone, they show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don’t play by the rules
They say “Just push them down, just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon?”

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting
Angels don’t give up on me today
The demons they are there; they just keep fighting
Cause inner demons just won’t go away
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, life’s not fair
So angels please; please stay here
Take the pain; take the fear

They say it won’t be hard; they can’t see the battles in my heart
But when I turn away
The demons seem to stay
Cause inner demons don’t play well with angels
They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise
Angels, please protect me from these rebels
This is a battle I don’t want to lose

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting
Angels don’t give up on me today
Cause the demons they are there; they just keep fighting
Cause inner demons just won’t go away

So angels, angels please keep on fighting
Angels don’t give up on me today
Cause the demons; they are there
They just keep fighting
Cause inner demons just won’t go away

So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain; life’s not fair
So angels please; please stay here
Take the pain; take the fear

Unlovable Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Another love taken to the grave
Another one goes right down the drain
I keep making all the same mistakes
Running out of reasons I can blame

[Pre-Chorus]
Thought I had a heart of gold
Everything I touch turns to stone
Is it my fault I always end up alone?
[Chorus]
Maybe I’m just difficult
Maybe I’m impossible
Maybe I’m just one step over the edge
You’re one foot out the door
Maybe I’m emotional
Too much to handle
Or
Maybe I’m unlovable

[Verse 2]
Is there anyone left to believe?
Is there any good still left in me?
I keep slipping further underneath
I just want a love that never leaves

[Pre-Chorus]
Thought I had a heart of gold
Everything I touch turn to stone
Is it my fault I always end up alone?

[Chorus]
Well maybe I’m just difficult
Maybe I’m impossible
Maybe I’m just one step over the edge
You’re one foot out the door
Maybe I’m emotional
Too much to handle
Or
Maybe I’m unlovable
Unlovable
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DIAMANTE
Hear Me Now
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[Chorus]
Maybe I’m just difficult
Maybe I’m impossible
Maybe I’m just one step over the edge
You’re one foot out the door
Maybe I’m emotional
Too much to handle
Or, or
Maybe I’m unlovable
Unlovable
Maybe I’m unlovable

Fireflies

1:53 minutes

Fireflies
by Edgar Fawcett

I saw, one sultry night above a swamp,
The darkness throbbing with their golden pomp!
And long my dazzled sight did they entrance
With the weird chaos of their dizzy dance!
Quicker than yellow leaves, when gales despoil,

Quivered the brilliance of their mute turmoil,
Within whose light was intricately blent
Perpetual rise, perpetual descent.
As though their scintillant flickerings had met
In the vague meshes of some airy net!
And now mysteriously I seemed to guess,
While watching their tumultuous loveliness,
What fervor of deep passion strangely thrives
In the warm richness of these tropic lives,
Whose wings can never tremble but they show
These hearts of living fire that beat below!

Master Healer

4:52 minutes

Remedy Lyrics

I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe
Right before my eyes I saw my heart, it came to life
This ain’t easy, it’s not meant to be, every story has its scars

But when the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy

No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whatever, I’ll be the shelter that won’t let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth and I will always love you
Love you, oh

When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy
Ohhh, ohhh
When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be, I will be
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be, I will be
I will be your remedy, mmm, mm-hmm

Pocket Full

3:04 minutes

Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

January 15, 2008

{Intro]
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Verse 1]
I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh, oh-oh
Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh-oh

[Chorus]
Take me away (Take me away)
A secret place (A secret place)
A sweet escape (A sweet escape)
Take me away (Take me away)
Take me away (Take me away)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
A hiding place (A hiding place)

[Verse 2]
I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh, oh-oh
(Got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine, got a love, and I know that it’s all mine)
Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me, oh
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh-oh
(Never gonna shake me, never gonna shake me)
I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh, oh-oh
(I know, I know that it’s all mine)
Wish that you could, but you ain’t gonna own me
Do anything you can to control me, oh, oh no
(You can’t control me, you can’t control me)

[Chorus]
Take me away (Take me away)
A secret place (A secret place)
A sweet escape (A sweet escape)
Take me away (Take me away)
Take me away (Take me away)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
A hiding place (A hiding place)

[Bridge]
There’s a place that I go, that nobody knows
Where the rivers flow, and I call it home
And there’s no more lies, in the darkness, there’s light
And nobody cries, there’s only butterflies

[Chorus]
Take me away (Take me away)
A secret place (A secret place)
A sweet escape (A sweet escape)
Take me away (Take me away)
Take me away (Take me away)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
A hiding place (A hiding place)
Take me away (Take me away)
A secret place (A secret place)
A sweet escape (A sweet escape)
Take me away (Take me away)
Take me away (Take me away)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
A hiding place (A hiding place)

[Post-Chorus]
Take me away (I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine)
A secret place (I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
Take me away (I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine)
(I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh)
To better days (To better days)
Take me away (Take me away)
A hiding place (A hiding place)
Oh yeah, oh
Mhm

[Outro]
The sun is on my side, and takes me for a ride
I smile up to the sky, I know I’ll be alright
The sun is on my side, and takes me for a ride
I smile up to the sky, I know I’ll be alright

Takara: ShadowWalker v4

6:01 minutes

Pushing the pen, Takara finished the shadow of the little star. Her forearm was now covered with tiny stars, flowers, and mysterious symbols. In the center of her palm, the full bloom of a single rose. The petals seemed deep and full. It was magic and soon the journey would start.

When she was young her mother taught her the art of shadow walking. She watched Mother’s hands lightly moving over her arm. Decorating with little symbols. So small but so powerful. The rose on her palm was her favorite. A simple flower would do. But why not have fun with it?

Takara smiled softly. Pushing away the memory and focusing on the task at hand. If she messed this up, she’d be in big trouble.

She admired the drawing’s intricacy. Her brow furrowed. Something was missing. She slowly turned and gazed out the open window. A soft breeze wafted across the room with the scent of cherry blossoms. Melodious twitter of bird-song permeated the air. “The bird?,” she wondered, “A sign of flight.” She smiled again.

In minutes, she sketched a small bird. On the back of her thumb, it perched. “That feels right — whole,” she thought. And closed her eyes. Her dark lashes splayed across her smooth face.

Inside her head, a little dream-spin began at first. Then she felt the need to clutch her arms close. The dizzying spin grew stronger. And then she disappeared into shadow walking.

The spinning eased and finally was a slow rotation. Something wasn’t right. Before she even opened her eyes, Takara knew she was in the wrong place. The air was thick and clung to her cloak and skin like a parasite. It was sour, acrid, and dry. Something was wrong. Her eyes fluttered open afraid of what she would see.

She was greeted by a grim landscape of tall black trees, their branches bare, looming over her. Surrounded by flames and smoke. Her hand flew to her face in shock. Her work was perfect how could she have ended up here?! Her mother always told her never ever go to the Shadow Plains, “What went wrong?” she wondered, “My drawing is perfect.”

Frantically, she searched her arm trying to find a flaw, there was nothing — flawless.

And then she noticed her right hand on the fingers she used to hold that little pen — ink. A smudge of black ink ran along the heel of her palm and up the side of her little finger. Ugliness. Unattractive. This flaw sent her into the Shadow Plains. There would be no water here, no sign of life, only death.

She tried rubbing it off. It was dry. She had no liquid to erase it. Spitting in her left hand, she rubbed the right smudge. But doing so, the drawings on her left hand smeared, too.

She realized in a panic she’d left her pen in her room. Trapped in the Shadow Plains, her breathing quickened.

Scanning the terrain, Takara noticed a trickle of liquid. It puddled between two banks of smoldering earth. She crawled through the smoke. Bathing both arms repeatedly in the hot liquid soon all the markings were gone.

With no marks or images, she had no way to navigate home. But she knew she must end up somewhere better. She closed her eyes. The dream-spin of shadow walking began again.

Was she lost forever because of a simple mistake? Or would she find herself in a safe place?

Interstellar Telepathic
Lunar Day: 29.5

Dearest Takara-

I’ve searched for days for you. Some report you’re in the Shadow Plains. That doesn’t seem possible. Not to me who know you so well. You’re always cautious.

If only I could draw as you do, I’d fly to rescue you. But that isn’t my gift. So I await a message. I fear the range of my interstellar telepathy is only a weak signal.

I’ve worried about your safety. Of course, I’m fearful. I know you’re strong. Perhaps you recall the time you shadow walked to the snowcapped mountain peak. And the thin air caused you to faint. That was a close call. I know you’ll find another smart solution and escape from wherever you are. You aren’t lost to me.

I consulted the pond’s visionary goldfish. They attempted some sort of symbol. But it is meaningless to me. Perhaps this is the drawing you need to return.

I miss you. More than you imagine.

No one’s imagination is as beautiful as yours.

My power wanes with you so far away.

Kuro Ai

Paradise on Fire

3:07 minutes

Paradise on Fire

Project Description

This video montage is a dream-like story about loneliness and creativity. I have two archetypes or alter egos: the raging black unicorn and a young woman , Ophelia. Childhood trauma represses Ophelia’s expression. She is revived with the help of the powerful unicorn. The young woman is rescued and finds a creative life again. Saving both the unicorn and the woman. The Phoenix rises from the ashes.

PAID COMPONENTS

Voiceover

Voiceover on this video is by Steve Teare, the author of the poem.

Midjourney prompt: ophelia, high resolution, water –ar 9:16

OPEN-SOURCE COMPONENTS

Music Source

All soundtracks are music videos downloaded as MP3 audio files. I used free online YouTube downloader tools. There are many downloaders and they often advertise porn (so watch out!) Sometimes there is a copyright claim. But often when using stems, there is no restriction for monetization. But monetization is not our goal. I use YouTube only for hosting to conserve server resources. And keep our home site http://DizzyPictures.com loading fast. I use a WordPress video lazy-load plugin called Embed Plus Plugin for YouTube Pro ($39). Others are available but this premium one prevents recommendations of competitor video content. We want to keep people on our site and not on YouTube. YouTube has thwarted this feature to a degree with the inset “View on YouTube” non-feature link.

Five pieces of music are used for this video montage:

  • “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles, A major 68bpm vocals [ezstems.com].mp3
  • Voiceover audio “Paradise on Fire” by Steve Teare.mp3
  • “Dirty Diana” by Michael Jackson, G minor-132bpm-MJ1-accompaniment_ no vocals.[ezstems.com]-extraction.mp3
  • A Major-F# Minor – Ambient Pad.mp3
  • 121 BPM 44 – INDIE DRUM LOOP #2 Drum Beat – Backing Track.mp3

Audio Editing and Vocal Stems

I extracted the accompaniment “stem” from Dirty Diana and the Eleanor Rigby vocal stem.

Stems are stereo recording components extracted from many audio tracks. I created the vocal stems using https://ezstems.com/ and https://www.acapella-extractor.com Both free online tools. I cleaned up the downloaded MP3 stems afterward in Audacity. I used: the high pass filter, transformed the stereo into mono, and added audio compression.

Audacity is a free and open-source digital audio editor. It’s available for Windows, macOS, and Linux. We’re using open-source Linux Mint Cinnamon as our computer operating system.

Music Modules
Modular music is the combination and overlapping of different compositions. One over the other. The compositions are also called modules. For me, those modules are covers performed by one or many different artists in different moments. You can add or remove new modules to create new work, a new composition, different from the original one. You can expand and extend a modular composition in time, space and size.

Soundtrack

The video is built around the song “Dirty Diana” released in 1988.

Atmospheric Backing Track

I added a YouTube A-major (F# minor) chord ambient backing track. These are called “pads.” Ambient Pads are atmospheric tones designed to fill out the sound of any music. You layer them under any major or minor chord progression. Pads are ambient, sustained sounds characterized by heavy reverb and delay. They are a staple in audio productions from pop music to film scores. A pad is a sustained chord or tone generated by a synthesizer. It’s often used as background harmony or for atmosphere. Like a string section, it’s used to pad out the sound of an orchestra or film score – or in our case, perhaps a vocal stem.

Music heightens a video’s emotion. It creates an aural mood for each scene, along with sound effects and dialogue. Film scores are custom-made and often performed by orchestras. Today a video score might feature all manner of sounds and instruments. A video soundtrack is already-written popular songs featured in a film or video. In a two-hour movie, there is about an hour of music. My videos are often music videos. And so the music is 3 to 5 minutes long – on occasion, 7 minutes.

Midjourney prompt: realistic, ophelia, petting black unicorn, frank frazetta style, –ar 16:9

Sound Effects

  • explosion_bomb_06_PremiumBeat.mp3 effects
  • Sand_Boots_Running.mp3 effects

Open-source Video

We used a stock video montage of dark images. We also created a montage of AI generated with 35 still images. They were created using Midjourney AI Bot. The prompts were lyrics from the voiceover. The Ken Burns Effect tool used to create the video is open-source PhotoFilmStrip software on Linux Mint. PhotoFilmStrip creates video output of still images in 3 steps. First select your photos, customize the motion path, and render the video.

Midjourney prompt: frank frazetta, Friesian, black, unicorn, horse in water, highly detailed, epic, 8K –ar 9:16

Video Editors

We do video production using Kdenlive open-source video editor version 21.04.3 on Linux. There is a newer version available 22.04.3 as of July 10, 2022.

Titles are made in Kdenlive. The free-for-personal-use font is Big Noodle Titling, a display uppercase movie-poster font ($15 to buy the font family). https://www.dafont.com/bignoodletitling.font

Kdenlive video editor for “Paradise on Fire.”

Tracks

There are 11 tracks. 4 video tracks and 7 audio tracks.

V4: Lyrics rollover, logo and title clips, logo and title clips

V3: Fire.mp4 clip and unicorn logo end

V2: compilation of open source dark video clips, 4.5X original speed

V1: AI Midjourney motion video

A1: 0.00dB, Isolated vocal stem Eleanor Rigby

A2: 13.27dB, voiceover

A3: -6.60dB, explosion effect

A4: -8.34dB, sand boots running effect

A5: -9.08dB, “Dirty Diana” accompaniment stem

A6: -15.61dB, A Major (F# minor) backing track (pad)

A7: -10.64dB, drum track

I used a microphone for voiceover and edited it in Audacity and added reverb. But no camera is used to make this video montage. All components except music sound track are free web assets. The final video is a 60MB MP4 file. Google YouTube found no copyright claims.

PARADISE ON FIRE

Invisible friend
used to play so free
vibrant alive
she a joy to me
drown in the tub
a mystery

Under the water
that’s where she’d stay
Dead while alive
never more to play

I wondered so long
why she never came out
speechless mummy child
never more to shout

Then one day I saw
what was plain to see
Poor Ophelia drown
she was part of me

I wept and I wailed
but she’d never arise
lost in the water
in tears that she cried

betrayed by love
for decades gone by
watery grave
no one knew why

And then one day
the unicorn came
black raging power
her soul to reclaim

He nudged her free
she clung to his back
they rode like hell
escaping attack

She was free
Paradise on fire
Invisible friend
Eden on fire

Invisible friend
alive again

STEVE TEARE 2022

Noose

3:09 minutes

It’s Called: Freefall

Called to the Devil and the Devil did come

I said to the devil, “Devil do you like drums?

Do you like cigarettes, dominoes, rum?”

He said only “sundown, Sundays, Christmas”

Some day’s end when I need a few friends

Now and again I could never hope to keep them

Thought to give friends what I thought that they wanted

Never had they needed a good friend as I’ve been

Don’t get me venting on friends who resent you

’cause all you’ve ever done is been a noose to hang on to

They thought was a necklace and reckless they fell into hell

where you both hang with nothing to do but

Scratch, kick, let gravity win like

Fuck this, let gravity win like

You could leave it all behind,

even the Devil need time alone sometimes

You could let it all go, you could let it all go

It’s Called: Freefall

It’s Called: Freefall

Called to the Devil and the Devil said quit

Can’t be bothered better handle your shit

Keep about your wits man, keep about your wits

Know yourself and who you came in with

Can I sit down I’ve been hustling all day

I can’t even count how many souls I’ve made

Off the same deal you on

Remember: The Devil ain’t a friend to no one

But FUN, true

You could let it all go, you could let it all go

It’s Called: Freefall

It’s Called: Freefall

Called to the Devil and the Devil said “Hey!

Why you been calling this late?

It’s like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell,

that’s a rule I made”

Anyway, you say you’re too busy

saving everybody else to save yourself

And you don’t want no help, oh well

That’s the story to tell

You could let it all go, you could let it all go

It’s Called: Freefall

It’s Called: Freefall

You could let it all go, you could let it all go

Cause ain’t shit free but falling out

And that shit’s easy let me show you how, it’s like…

Ain’t shit free but falling out

And that shit’s easy let me show you how, it’s like…

You could let it all go, you could let it all go

It’s Called: Freefall

It’s Called: Freefall

Noose video montage

Project Description

This video montage is about the temptation to give up. It’s also about sublimating anger and trauma. It’s also about the disappointment of Pleaser Syndrome: “Thought to give friends what I thought that they wanted.”

PAID COMPONENTS

Voiceover

There is no voiceover on this video.

Lyric AI Prompt: “I said to the devil, “Devil do you like drums?

OPEN-SOURCE COMPONENTS

Music Source

All soundtracks are music videos downloaded as MP3 audio files. I used free online YouTube downloader tools. There are many downloaders and they often advertise porn (so watch out!) Sometimes there is a copyright claim. But often when using stems, there is no restriction for monetization. But monetization is not our goal. I use YouTube only for hosting to conserve server resources. And keep our home site http://DizzyPictures.com loading fast. I use a WordPress video lazy-load plugin called Embed Plus Plugin for YouTube Pro ($39). Others are available but this premium one prevents recommendations of competitor video content. We want to keep people on our site and not on YouTube. YouTube has thwarted this feature to a degree with the inset “View on YouTube” non-feature link.

Five pieces of music are used for this video montage:

  • “It’s Called: Freefall” by Rainbow Kitten Surprise (slowed)
  • “It’s Called: Freefall” cover by Mitch Huckaby. Male vocal stem.
  • “It’s Called: Freefall” cover by unknown artist. Female vocal stem.
  • “It’s Called: Freefall” cover by Paris Paloma. Female vocalist and accompaniment.
  • A major – F# minor Ambient Pad by Odir Ruano.

Audio Editing and Vocal Stems

I stripped the vocal “stems” from Mitch Huckaby’s and an unknown female artist covers of “It’s Called: Freefall”.

Stems are stereo recording components extracted from many audio tracks. I created the vocal stems using https://ezstems.com/ and https://www.acapella-extractor.com Both free online tools. I cleaned up the downloaded MP3 stems afterward in Audacity. I used: the high pass filter, transformed the stereo into mono, and added audio compression.

Audacity is a free and open-source digital audio editor. It’s available for Windows, macOS, and Linux. We’re using open-source Linux Mint Cinnamon as our computer operating system.

Music Modules
Modular music is the combination and overlapping of different compositions. One over the other. The compositions are also called modules. For me, those modules are covers performed by one or many different artists in different moments. You can add or remove new modules to create new work, a new composition, different from the original one. You can expand and extend a modular composition in time, space and size.

Soundtrack

The video is built around the song “It’s Called: Freefall” by Rainbow Kitten Surprise. It was released in 2018.

Atmospheric Backing Track

I added a YouTube A-major (F# minor) chord ambient backing track. These are called “pads.” Ambient Pads are atmospheric tones designed to fill out the sound of any music. You layer them under any major or minor chord progression. Pads are ambient, sustained sounds characterized by heavy reverb and delay. They are a staple in audio productions from pop music to film scores. A pad is a sustained chord or tone generated by a synthesizer. It’s often used as background harmony or for atmosphere. Like a string section, it’s used to pad out the sound of an orchestra or film score – or in our case, perhaps a vocal stem.

Music heightens a video’s emotion. It creates an aural mood for each scene, along with sound effects and dialogue. Film scores are custom-made and often performed by orchestras. Today a video score might feature all manner of sounds and instruments. A video soundtrack is already-written popular songs featured in a film or video. In a two-hour movie, there is about an hour of music. My videos are often music videos. And so the music is 3 to 5 minutes long – on occasion, 7 minutes.

Lyric AI Prompt: “Don’t get me venting on friends who resent you.

Open-source Video

We didn’t use any stock video. Instead a montage of AI generated still images are used. They were created using Midjourney AI Bot. The prompts were lyrics from the main song. The Ken Burns Effect tool used to create the video is open-source PhotoFilmStrip software on Linux Mint. PhotoFilmStrip creates video output of still images in 3 steps. First select your photos, customize the motion path, and render the video.

Lyric AI Prompt: Even the Devil need time alone sometimes.

Video Editors

I do video production using Kdenlive open-source video editor version 21.04.3 on Linux. There is a newer version available 22.04.3 as of July 10, 2022.

Titles are made in Kdenlive. The free-for-personal-use font is Big Noodle Titling, a display uppercase movie-poster font ($15 to buy the font family). https://www.dafont.com/bignoodletitling.font

Kdenlive video editor for “Noose.”

Tracks

There are 8 tracks. 2 video tracks and 6 audio tracks.

V3: logo and title clips

V3: Lyrics rollover

V1: AI motion video

A1: 0.00dB, Paris Paloma female vocalist and accompaniment, “Companions” Lane King.mp3 – outro music

A2: 9.75dB, logo sound, male-stem-F# minor-_99bpm-_Its_Called_Freefall_Rainbow_Kitten_Surprise_Cover-_Mitch_Huckaby-_vocals.mp3

A3: 11.71dB, female2-stem-E major-94bpm_-_its_called_freefall_vocals-crop.mp3 effects

A4: 0.00dB, B major, 85bpm,- rainbow kitten surprise – it’s called freefall (slowed)-eb-eLblT3ak-160k-1660316111882.mp3 effects

A5: 11.98dB, A Major (F# minor) backing track (pad)

I didn’t use a microphone or camera to make this video montage. All components except music sound track are free web assets. The final video is a 104MB MP4 file.