Hello, Janice, it’s me
there’s a stranger
across our street
No he’s just been wandering
wander he did
for more than an hour
waiting for time to pass
did he wait for a beauty
a girlfriend, a cutie
No his face showed no
perhaps for some money
to make life a pleasure
to fill his rumbling stomach and more
to take in an exciting Hollywood movie
No his life couldn’t be a bore
look at his white hands
so clean and fine fingernail
maybe he doesn’t work
or just got sprung out of jail
still he wanders back and forth
as if no place to go
yet no purpose or pleasure
should I call the cops?
No he’s moving again
two steps to the right
not a lover not a fighter
His eyes so hollow
they stare blank and white
he’s walking this way
and oh, my gosh
he’s pulling a large scythe
from under his black robe
he’s the Grim Reaper
and he coming
we are gathered here
in memory of the late
er … er. Jezzy McJewel
who fell off her stool
while talking on her pink telephone
such a tragedy tells us
er… er … it is better
to receiver than to
dial in vain
Look at her face
she looks so life like
I almost expect her to sit up
any moment. That witch owes me $100
now how will I get it?
I suppose I could sue the estate
Jezzy, it’s Janice
honey, I know you can hear me
I don’t know who that guy was, baby
but I filled out a complete report at the
they were gonna put me in jail as your
murderess can you believe it?
I guess they found out about my affair
with your Husband
but you know about all that cause
you’re dead and can read peoples
thoughts and stuff
I’ll have to talk more later
Bob’s motioning me over for
the family photo
Why am I floating up here
on the ceiling over a casket
and who is that hideous corpse
oh, no it’s me
who did my make-up I’ll kill’em
I told Bob I wanted to be cremated
if I ever … I’m dead
I can’t believe it
I should have known this would happen
every Monday when I have my period
it’s a lousy day
Hey, what nice expensive flowers
I wonder who they’re from?
From Bob and Janice
Wait a minute
didn’t Bob have an insurance policy
on me, yeah for
a million dollars
a million dollars
a million GREEN WRINKLED dollars
I’LL KILL THE IDIOT!
Such an unexpected tragedy
yes we’ll all grieve and miss her
thank you so much for coming
I want you
at the funeral for goodness sake
I’ve got to have you
Jeez. okay. The broom closet in 5 minutes.
Oh, thank you. thank you.
she had the whole thing planned
well, I’ll fix them both
copulate at my funeral will they
us haunting spirits have our little ways
“I want you,” give me a break
Bob, now that were alone in the broom closet
I wanted to ask you something?
Sure go ahead and ask me while I get
out of some of these clothes
Well, was there really a Grim Reaper
across the street that frightened Jezzy?
Of course NOT that was me remember?
You forget things too quickly.
Bob, why are we in this closet?
You said, you wanted to have sex.
I said that?
At my best friends funeral?
Oh all right, but Bob?
Why are you wearing the Grim Reaper suit?
isn’t that a little kinky?
What Grim Reaper suit?
we are gathered today
in memory of Bob and Janice
Who during an act of misjudgment
broke several bottles of deadly chemicals
their cremated bodies and clothes were
by the night janitor in his closet
From which we learn ..er chemically speaking
all is not lost until the clothing gets tossed
Such a sad, sad tragedy
three mysterious deaths in such a short period
I’m sure they are all so very, very happy