Any kind of decoy seen in a dream denotes the deceit of someone for whom you have had affection.
Affectionate feelings and expressions are not always congruent.
Individuals express inauthentic affectionate messages, potentially as a means to mask inappropriate feelings.
Most individuals do communicate inauthentic affectionate messages in close relationships.
Successfully communicating deception is important to avoid hurting partners. It’s a functional way to minimally keep the peace and “do no harm.”
Affection related deception is a common potential risk for communicators.
The reasons for deceptive communication include: protecting the partners’ feelings, preventing damage to the relationship and increasing or avoiding damage to the partners’ self esteem.
Affectionate messages increase chances for survival because
they contribute to the “development and maintenance of human pair bonds.”
A deceptive affectionate message involves the intentional communication of a positive message in which the intensity of the feeling communicated is greater than that which is genuinely felt by the sender.
Individuals may find themselves making an evaluation of the potential hazard of communicating their true feelings versus communicating a deceptive affectionate message. A retention tactic to keep a relationship engaged.
Deceptive affectionate messages help us better understand how they’re used as both functional and dysfunctional relationships.
“A deceptive affectionate message occurs when you actively communicate affection to your partner that you are not genuinely feeling.”
Disingenuous terms of endearment. “Don’t Call Me Dear.’
Letter to Jade
Thanks for watching and analyzing the “Decoy” video.
Thanks, also, for your comments and thoughts. Good stuff. Really helped wring the truth out of me. Serious!
On 9/29/21 8:09 AM, Jade Rawlings wrote:
it kind of sounds like reckless optimism: peace at all costs.
Yeah. Maybe? But what about conformity and nonconformity to standards of conduct. For example, my son, Derik, has a great job working at UPS in Florida at a hub. He has worked for them as a mechanic keeping their distribution centers running. He has made great pay with great benefits. But they are requiring mandatory Covid vaccination.
He and his family refuse to get vaccinated because they believe it is a violation of their civil liberties. So his plan is being fired and suing the UPS corporation for “wrongful termination.”
That reputation is not going to help him find another job. Few people will touch him in the future for being so arrogant and insubordinate.
But Big Brother isn’t going to tell him how to live his life.
What is the moral to this story?
I see that I am idiotically the same.
I’m defiant and arrogant — and have a history of rebellious discontent. It doesn’t make you a good employee. You always see yourself as the victim. You are dripping with contempt (or at least that is my normal). Always ready for a fight. Just knock that chip off my shoulder.
What does this have to do with decoy language?
Not communicating decoy language (being honest) is an act of war. It’s self-defeating behavior. Nobody wins. Play along. Don’t make waves.
Sometimes, I need to tell people what they want to hear — and not what I think they “need” to hear.
By the way, all this “noise” and the “Decoy” video is based on a dream I had where I was sending out decoys disguised like me from my home to lead people I distrusted away to a places where I wasn’t. Safety was the goal. Not luring them to their destruction
I see the dream as a message from God to save my butt.
My PagePipe business essentially died 3 months ago. It was a thriving business for years previous. I blame it on a lot of things. But one thing is for certain, I wasn’t going to cave into Google’s insistence of testing for three lame tedious parameters they claim affect user experience. They are spouting false dogma. It makes no difference in making a site better.
When did they start the new rules? 3 months ago. Hmm? What a coincidence.
It doesn’t matter that I am right and they are wrong. They make the rules. They control the internet. Of my own choice and volition, I am as much out of a job as my arrogant son soon will be. He hates his boss and the US government. I hate Google. It’s the same problem of stupidity and pride.
We will be pimples expressed on the face of history. Unremembered martyrs for lame causes.
He refuses to comply. I refuse to comply. Last act of defiance. Now I am paying for my non-conformance and self-righteous indignation. We both lose. The world changes, we don’t.
i dont know if im personally one to keep the peace but ive found in most trauma relationships there is always a person driven to stop confrontation even when necessary, i think it depends on how you deal with trauma, are you the hider, the one who crawls up into yourself to take up less space in self-destruct mode, or are you the fighter, the combustible, the outward forest fire destroying everything else?
Well, I actually am a fighter (like you) but you wouldn’t know it. Proof: I just killed my own business to fight and defend a lame cause. I should be getting on the gravy train. Instead business murder.
i think the way we manage our relationships have to do with the roles we played as children, and ultimately it comes down to how far is too far? is a white lie okay? do we pacify to keep the peace just because we are afraid?
Relationship management is what it really is. You want to play on the playground. Talk nice to the other kids or they will see you get squashed.
i think people who actively engage in deceptive affectionate messages are less trying to help the other person in the relationship and more trying to hide from any confrontation or attack. its them on the offense.
I feel technological conformity to Google whim is “deceptive affectionate messages.” Don’t make waves. I am unconventional and nonconformist. That means “I hate the Man.” Why? Because I was abused and someone is about to get a new anus ripped as payback.
Unfortunately, with that attitude, it is me who gets ripped. I made a bundle of cash off PagePipe in the last two years — and now — I make nothing. Nice. Shoot myself in the foot to prove they are wrong. Wow.
Who created all the market anxiety about speed? Google. Not me. I should be thanking them for being idiots –and providing for my living by their lunacy.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
all in all, i have been guilty of this before, as i get older i think i do this more often because i am tired of fighting all the time, i get tired of always being prepaired for an attack both physically and mentally, recently ive been less fight and more ‘shove it down’ to keep the peace. This is probably what I do, too. NOTE TO SELF: Stop being so extremely controversial (like my son the conspiracy theorist). “Shove it down” is the path of least resistance. You can still win and be in the game.
i consider myself chaotic good, i have a set of my own morals i abide by and a lie has been low on my list of no nos so i dont feel too bad pacifying a situation with deceptive affectionate messages.
Yeah. I remember “honesty” was your #24 value (last) on the VIA values test. 🙂
I need to appear to play along with Google dogma. So a decoy gets sent. I then appear to be conformist — but really I’m just trying to not get thrown out of the game for fouls.
As usual, thanks for making me think. You helped me sort out what my subconscious is telling me.
“Put my pride aside and play the game by their silly rules and make money.”-Steve Teare
How did I get that out of your message? Subconscious guidance. there is no harm in Deceptive Acceptance with Google.
It’s a form of political compromise. Distasteful but necessary. It “feels” like living a lie or compromising values — it’s not that dramatic — it’s a survival tactic.
Love your brain. Genius Girl.
PS- I got vaccinated long ago. And I’m going to get another Covid booster shot.
To dream that you are using a decoy, indicates your tendency to mislead people. Your conscious may be appearing in your dream to try an steer you back in the right direction. To dream that you are a decoy, represents self denial or self deception. You are trying to tell yourself to believe one thing, but really feel differently.
A decoy is usually a person, device, or event meant as a distraction, to hide what an individual or a group might be looking for. Decoys have been used for centuries most notably in game hunting, but also in wartime and in the committing or resolving of crimes.
Some common synonyms of decoy are entice, inveigle, lure, seduce, and tempt. While all these words mean “to lead astray from one’s true course,” decoy implies a luring into entrapment by artifice.
How decoys work
When consumers are faced with many alternatives, they often experience choice overload – what psychologist Barry Schwartz has termed the tyranny or paradox of choice. Multiple behavioral experiments have consistently demonstrated that greater choice complexity increases anxiety and hinders decision-making.
In an attempt to reduce this anxiety, consumers tend to simplify the process by selecting only a couple of criteria (say price and quantity) to determine the best value for money.
Through manipulating these key choice attributes, a decoy steers you in a particular direction while giving you the feeling you are making a rational, informed choice.