6:37 minutes

Video poetry allows me to discover subconscious perception. I’m harvesting. It’s a mental tool to transfer hidden knowledge from my feeling emotional side to my logical deductive side. It’s a translation device putting emotion into symbols and words. It’s much like a dream language.

Interpretation of the video poem: Burnt.

Do repeative negative compulsions come from past trauma?

We hear dragons roaring. But the fantasy creature isn’t seen. Instead we see the images of pretty young women playing with flaming matches in their mouths or hands. The heart shaped matches imply the blame is misguided love-seeking or love-addiction.

“PLAYING WITH MATCHES” BEHAVIOR: Shift emotions rapidly. Not thinking before acting. Making rash decisions. Inappropriate sexual innuendo or otherwise provocative behavior frequently causes interpersonal conflicts. Seductive or flirtatious behavior. Risk taking.

The dragon sounds represent inner rage or contempt. The origin of this contempt is deep shame. Where does intense shame orginate? Almost always it’s from repressed childhood trauma and abuse.

My fantasy animal is a black unicorn. Both dragon and unicorn are power or empowerment symbols. They are paradoxical negative and positive energy. It’s the internal power to change and destroy. New thinking requires destroying old erroneous inner lies from negative self talk. Negative self talk creates significant stress. It affects our body, our mind, our life, and our loved ones. It’s damaging and depressing. The alternate reality created by lies is stressful.

Negative self talk are words like:

  • I can never do anything right!
  • I’m not good at hard things.
  • I’m not creative.
  • I’m dumb.
  • I’m no good.
  • I’ll never be able to do this.
  • I’m weak.

These unfounded words then lead to fear-based fantasy: “I’ll probably fail this class and never be able to go to a good college or get a job.” This is the voice of our inner critic. It sounds like someone from our past. It limits our ability to believe in ourself and our own abilities, and reach our unrealized potential.

The more we hear negative self-talk the more we believe it. This limits us.

  • Perfectionism: We believe “great” isn’t “perfect.” Perfection (in this life) is ACTUALLY unattainable. Embrace mediocrity. Be prolific instead. Instead, go for wholeness.
  • Depression from negativity.
  • Relationship challenges: We appear needy and insecure. Negative habits bother others.

Positive self-talk is a predictor of success. Positive self-talk is more effective than listening to motivational speakers for change.

One helpful curative is giving our negative self-talk a name like “Dog Voice” or “Debbie Downer.” That makes the voice less threatening.

DOG BEHAVIOR: Constantly seek reassurance or approval. Poor self-esteem. Being gullible and easily influenced by others. Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval. Have difficulty maintaining relationships, often seeming fake or shallow in their dealings with others. The person has a habit of misinterpreting the feelings and intentions of others, believing their relationships to be more intimate than they actually are. Need to be needed.

Overdramatizing: Turn down the volume

Another way is changing negativity to neutrality. Change the intensity or potency of our language. “I can’t stand this” becomes, “This is challenging.” “I hate…” becomes, “I don’t like…” and even, “I don’t prefer…” When our self-talk uses more gentle language, it mutes the negative power.

Negative self-talk is often filled with fear and urgency. To change our perspective, listen to what God says about us and our situation. Read scriptures. Pray.

Start talking to our self like a real friend. Replace our bad habits with new good ones.

Where does negative self talk come from? Often from overly critical parents, *negative friends* (toxic people), or from trauma. Trauma is perpetuated by someone we trusted completely. Their ruthless betrayal convinces us we’re worthless or no good. We are brainwashed that we’re inherently bad.

That isn’t true. Falsehood. Lies. We’re God’s children. We’re actually inherently good.

This power is an influence for good in the lives of all people.

“The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. … And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged” (Moroni 7:16, 18). – REFERENCE

Contempt is a classic symptoms of traumatic repressed memories. But another symptom is risk-taking behaviors. In this case, compulsive seductive behaviors to control others. The danger is being burned in relationships. It results in difficult unsuccessful situations. We end up being treated badly by choosing toxic people as friends. Remorse and lingering emotional pain results.

Why the obsessive desire to control others?

We see three words of superimposed character traits: fierce, beautiful, loving. How do these coexist? They are part of a “raging storm within.” The power from rage is as fascinating and amazing as the captivating natural force of hurricane destruction.

The next scene is of swimming pools with curly dark-haired women facing away gazing. Where do they gaze at and long for? They are in swimming pools with beautiful views of the powerful ocean. Here water represents latent sexual feelings. We see the containment of the safe pool while yearning for the potential-danger of liberating oceanic deep waters.

The pool is big, glittering, and fun. Goodness and Godness. Procreative power. A godly bonding power. Celestial not telestial. Glittering.

Then the ominous words appear: The Hunter in the Dark. This is a character harvested from a story of a hero’s journey. The hunter in the dark is taunting, limiting, and controlling. Where does he come from?

The Hunter is an insatiable and unsatisfied urge or yearning. For sex? Actually, for control over an uncontrollable past experience.

Next we see a series of curly-haired beautiful brunette young women. Their hair much like those sitting backward in the pool water. The focus becomes their hair. We see the words compulsive love addiction. Not sex addiction! Love addiction. Caring too much. About what? Of being unworthy of love or attention. Orphan starvation. Fear of abandonment. Forever alone. Loneliness.

What does the hair symbolize? It is about attitudes or values concerning sexual power, seduction, sensuality, and vanity. It is a mysterious veil to hide behind. It is misguided thinking that sexual power brings love.

“False peace” is a direct borrowing from the hero’s journey. The hero suffers from false peace. What the heck is that? False peace is not true peace which comes from spirituality. False peace comes from trusting in the natural man. That is trusting in personal strength and will power — instead of God’s power. It’s also that sex is “false peace.” It’s not real love.

The hair represents carnal sensuous power. The words unconscious deprivation appear. This is the self-imposed starving. A love-anorexia. Not really being able to bond or experience intimacy. A frigidity caused by fear of closeness. Why? Because that feels like the old trauma. The past teaches it must be avoided to survive. This causes sexual and emotional frustration born of self-loathing.

EXAGGERATED BEHAVIOR: Uncomfortable unless he or she is the center of attention.

We hear the mocking song lyrics, “I want you to want me. I need you to need me.” Puppet of the Unseen Demon again it is another name for The Hunter. He is a tormentor. The cause of obsessive-compulsive behaviors. The puppet implies there is a puppeteer. The unseen hand controls and torments from the safety of the repressed unconscious. He is the memory of the abuser.

HAIR FLIPS: Exaggerated attention-seeking behavior.

Attention-getting swimming pool behavior of young women doing watery hair flips. “The One who Steals the Light” appears another name for The Hunter. He is the one causing this behavior? There is a feeling of power, sensuality, and living in the moment. Are these bad? No. Repeating compulsiveness reinforces old memories or yearnings to “be someone lovable or desired.” We’re unaware we’re dong something strange. Then we’re hair flipping – a body language of flirtation and seduction. Compulsive need to seduce.

BEHAVIOR: Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity. Be overly concerned with physical appearance.

Exaggerated gestures designed to draw attention.

A strange coping strategy resulting in not trusting yourself. You don’t know if you can stop.

The symptoms of post-traumatic syndrome (PTSD) scroll fast up the screen. A reminder of who the Hunter is: past trauma repressed. The Hunter is the source of compulsive love addiction (always hunting) manifest in misguided never-satisfied seductive sexual behavior (preying for captures – collecting hearts).

Now we see a symbolism I use in various videos, this is of women’s heads emerging from the water. This is symbolic of Ophelia (the dead emotion) rising from the subconscious mind. Memories emerging and being dealt with. This is part of the healing journey. Awareness. Consciousness of the buried and drown emotional and physical pain.

“Torment me no more” is a command pronounced by the hero to The Hunter.

It has liberating power just to say it. It’s about freedom from the forgotten past.

Didn’t I see you crying is repeated in the song lyric. Crying or expressing grief is part of the healing process.

“Power over what made you feel powerless” is the attempt to have power over the opposite sex. The wrong psychological cure. Instead the solution is expressing emotional pain through tears and creativity. That is what helps powerful heal. Not the false peace (power) of sexual conquests.

“Filled with sorrow for the loss of Taiki’s light.” This is the story’s coded message about the pain of loss of childhood innocence and betrayal.

In the post credits: “Free of Akuma at last – the unseen demon.”
We see once-dead Ophelia out of the water and riding the black unicorn to freedom. Remember, the black unicorn and the dragon are symbols of power. Anger redirected into positive energy and expression. Escape and freedom from compulsion are possible. There is hope.

PTSD feels like being a puppet or possessed by a demon. It’s an invisible enemy and tormentor. That is why it’s a stress disorder.

“Puppet of the unseen demon – torment me no more.”

Compulsive symptoms may never be completely removed – but they can be managed.

People with Histrionic Personaility Disorder (HPD) have intense, unstable emotions and distorted self-images. For people with histrionic personality disorder, their self-esteem depends on the approval of others and does not arise from a true feeling of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed, and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention. The word histrionic means “dramatic or theatrical.”

HPD is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and seductive behavior. People with this condition tend to over-dramatize situations, which may impair relationships and lead to depression.

They tend to use drama to manipulate others so that they can be the center of attention.

Histrionic personality disorder symptoms:

  • Be uncomfortable unless he or she is the center of attention.
  • Dress provocatively and/or exhibit inappropriately seductive or flirtatious behavior.
  • Inappropriate sexual innuendo or otherwise provocative behavior frequently causes interpersonal conflicts.
  • Rapid changes in emotion are experienced, although feelings often lack depth or texture.
  • Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity. A person’s conversation style is self-centered, impressionistic, and lacking in descriptive detail. During interpersonal encounters, exaggerated expressions of emotion are the norm.
  • Be overly concerned with physical appearance. Physical appearance is often carefully crafted to attract attention.
  • Constantly seek reassurance or approval.
  • Be gullible and easily influenced by others. The person is highly suggestible.
  • Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval.
  • Have a low tolerance for frustration and be easily bored by routine, often beginning projects without finishing them or skipping from one event to another.
  • Not thinking before acting.
  • Make rash decisions.
  • Be self-centered and rarely show concern for others.
  • Have difficulty maintaining relationships, often seeming fake or shallow in their dealings with others. The person has a habit of misinterpreting the feelings and intentions of others, believing their relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
  • Threaten or attempt suicide to get attention.

Feelings of discomfort are experienced if the person’s need to be the center of attention is frustrated.

Genetic susceptibility for HPD might be inherited. However, the child of a parent with this disorder might simply be repeating learned behavior.

When a child is terrified at 0 to 18 months, the left brain – the rational language part of the brain – has not yet developed, so the right brain either puts up a shield or views the self as flawed.

Mental health experts believe personality disorders like HPD usually develop as a result of stress, anxiety, and trauma experienced during childhood.


Video Poem Assets

Curly hair stills

Dragon MP3

Dragon Roaring-SoundBible.com-213390944.mp3
Monster Growl-SoundBible.com-2140541932.mp3

Faces stills

Hair flip stills

hair flip videos MP4

another hair flip.mp4
Felomena hair flip, hannah’s beach resort pool 2018 vacation.mp4
Slow Motion Hair Flip.mp4
Super Slow Motion Wet Hair Flick Shot On A Phantom HD.mp4
Water hair flip.mp4

Match stills

Pool sounds

Taking A Bath-SoundBible.com-2074057080.mp3

Pool video

HD Water in Swimming Pool Footage Loop 1080p.mp4

Transparent signage

caring too much.png
torment me.png

Swimming pool stills


Sound tracks

I Want You to Want Me Acoustic2.mp3



Other image

Trauma symptoms
  • Mood symptoms:
  • Depression Anxiety Shock
  • Anger Irritability Mood swings Despair
  • Mood swings Guilt
  • Shame
  • Self-blame
  • Sadness
  • Panic attacks
  • Anger
  • Irritability
  • Hopelessness
  • Behavioral symptoms:
  • Frequent nightmares
  • Insomnia
  • Startled easily
  • Fatigue
  • Edginess
  • Self-medication with drugs and alcohol
  • Self-harming behaviors
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Social isolation
  • Avoiding certain events that may trigger memories
  • Avoiding certain people
  • Physical symptoms:
  • Insomnia
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Muscle tension
  • Easily startled
  • Aches and pains
  • Exhaustion
  • Nightmares
  • Edginess
  • Agitation
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle tension
  • Dry mouth
  • Tachycardia
  • Headaches
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Psychological symptoms:
  • Confusion
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Insecurities
  • Repressed memories
  • Dissociation
  • Emotional numbing
  • Constant fear
  • Denial and disbelief
  • Flashbacks — the individual may re-experience traumatic events over and over
  • Emotional detachment
  • Low self-esteem