She is not okay, and they both know it.
But they’re not going to acknowledge it.
Then she saying she’s fine and avoiding everything. She won’t put the baggage on someone else because she doesn’t feel he should feel it too. She couldn’t live with herself if she caused pain for him.
Then she says “I choose for the both of us.” Because since shes going through it, she believes she knows what’s best for him. She cant comprehend he’d actually be able to help her or that he’d want to.
She doesn’t feel she deserves to be trusted by him. She feels he is too good for her and too naive and innocent to understand. Then she says she’s “committing treason” which is like the worst crime. She knows what she’ll do is awful — but she’ll do it anyway — because its what seems ‘best’.
She’ll force the relationship ending even though she likes him and doesn’t want to. But she feels like she must for him to be happy — at the expense of her own joy. But still she wants to be forgiven. She says, “mine is the unkindest cut of all” because she let him love her. In her mind, she’ll ruin his life with her baggage.
She hopes there’s comfort in saying they weren’t meant to be. But she doesn’t really believe that 100 percent because she wants it — but feels like she can’t have the happiness — or deserves it.
She tells him to move on. Go make his own story (instead of doing maybe what’s good for him). He’ll always be a part of her because she’ll never actually let him go inside. She’s watching them both fall — and their mutual heartbreak will break her.
