Hourglass

6:56 minutes

Hourglass is a video poem about the subconscious anima archetype. She is the girl left submerged under the water after my suicidal mother tried to drown me in the tub. I was in the first grade. My mummy child is female. My boy-self survived – but the emotional female remained repressed for almost 60 years. I’m setting her free with creative expression. She’s coming out of the water.

This is not the first time this symbolism occurred in my work. I made a photo-montage once that contained a dead girl immersed in water. That was at least 10 years ago. I believe it also ties to the phrase I clung to in DUNE (1984 movie): “Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.”

The black widow symbolizes female loneliness. A devouring mother causes emotional repression. She eats everything that comes near her. The feminine traits remain in the subconscious water – hidden. To rescue a man’s feminine aspects from the bully mother, creative expression is the remedy. Then a man achieves his first true capacity for relatedness to women.

The hero-and-spider battle symbolizes “growing up.” True creative achievement requires the anima’s liberation from submersion in the subconscious mind. Natural rejuvenation follows as The Phoenix rises from the ashes. This frees the adolescent ego from the oppression of parental expectations. He becomes an individual. A cultural pattern, or tribal identity, must evolve out of chaos. He is no longer driven to a competitive struggle for individual supremacy. Rather he assimilates to the cultural task of forming a community, a full life, and a mature attitude. The identity of the group and the individual is often symbolized by a totemic animal.

This totem represents a new birth or rite of passage to a new stage of life. An ordeal or trial of strength creates the symbolic mood of death. From this, springs rebirth through submission and self-mastery. This is a lesson in humility. Arrested development holds one back from this transition. The delay creates neurosis. A man’s sacrifice is surrendering his sacred independence. He becomes conscious of his feminine traits. He overcomes his fear of a paradoxical inner union. He no longer fears the fusion becoming a prison presided over by a powerful, dominating mother figure. He finds a way to not feel undue constraint on the development of his nature. Yet gives up exclusive autonomy and accepts responsibility. Balance is the goal.

When you’re odd and feel this earth isn’t your home planet, it’s difficult to find human understanding. God in His mercy provides us the Holy Ghost. That divine power gets us through the hard times. He comforts us.

Understanding the black widow’s destructive powers, the hero masters and assimilates his shadow self. Liberation at last.

“Learn to Be Lonely” is a song written by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart for the 2004 film adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera. The song is performed by Minnie Driver during the closing credits, and is found on the film’s soundtrack.

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you?
Comfort and care for you?
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known
Your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved
Alone

I’ve been lonely my entire life. I miss my childhood friend – an important part of my whole self.

There are things I would improve in this video. But the goal is a single-pass, low-fidelity poem and then move on to the next one. No dawdling to create unproductive perfection.

OPEN-SOURCE WEB ASSETS

BLACK WIDOW STILLS
be-free.png
black-widow-1.jpg
black-widow-1-trnsp.png
black-widow-2.jpg
black-widow-3.jpg
black-widow-4.jpg
black-widow-5.jpg
black-widow-white-silhoutte.png
orng-red-1200×600.png
title-page.png
sandglass-xxl.png

UNDERWATER STILLS
8 JPEG images

UNDERWATER VIDEO
underwater-bride.mp4
underwater-dance.mp4
underwater-walk.mp4

OTHER MP4 VIDEO
cropped-stuffed-animals.mp4
dizzy logo 2.mp4
fight.mp4
man-up-excerpt.mp4
spider-slides-underwater.mp4
spider-test-2.mp4
underwater-dance.mp4

MP3 AUDIO & SOUNDTRACK
learn-to-be-loney-violin.mp3
liberation-voice.mp3
team-lead-by-women.mp3
voice-learn-to-be-loney.mp3